Relationship Coaching

Getting Beyond Conflict: Relationship Coaching Can Help July 3, 2023 Marriage can be wonderful, but sometimes it gets a bit rocky. Couples can get stuck in ongoing disagreements. The disagreements could be over finances, sex, childrearing, in-laws, church involvement, you name it. One thing that all disagreements have in common is that you must work through them and find mutually satisfying solutions; otherwise, resentment builds, and hurtful behavior ensues. That cycle eventually erodes the relationship and ultimately destroys the marriage. Relationship coaching can help – don’t be afraid to ask for guidance. When resentment builds, it manifests in our outward behavior toward our spouse. Let’s see what that could look like with John and Mary. John refuses to include Mary in managing the family finances. He tells Mary it is the husband’s job, and he refuses to discuss it. If John and Mary continue to argue because Mary believes that John is being unreasonable by excluding her from managing the family finances, Mary will become resentful.  Eventually, out of her resentment she may withhold affection or cooperation in other matters. Mary may not have made a conscious decision to behave that way, rather it’s a reflection of how she is feeling. In response, John stops helping around the house and helping with the kids. When that happens, the couple gets trapped in a vicious cycle with each of them mistreating and hurting the other. The sooner they work through their disagreement, the better. The goal is to minimize damage to the relationship. If you and your spouse continue to have the same argument over and over and cannot find a resolution or maybe one of you believes the disagreement is jeopardizing your marriage, then you would likely benefit from relationship coaching. Relationship coaching is an educational process for helping couples who are having trouble communicating and resolving disagreements. Virtually any topic of disagreement can be addressed in relationship coaching. It’s a valuable learning opportunity and can help save marriages. Any effort a couple makes to improve their communication and conflict resolution skills is a wise investment. Afterall, one of the hallmarks of a successful marriage is good communication. If you have children, you really owe it to them to teach them by example how people who love one another can disagree and work through their disagreements in a civil manner and without hurting one another. This kind of instruction is invaluable to kids as they grow and eventually move out and make their own way in the world. Even if you think you’re at the end of your rope and don’t hold out any hope for your marriage – couples coaching or relationship coaching is worth a try. It may turn out to be the first time you and your spouse felt truly heard by the other. It may be the first time you and your spouse truly understood the needs and feelings driving the other’s actions and words. Very importantly, relationship coaching will help you become better prepared to handle the disagreements that will inevitably come. Knowledge and practice are key! Take care!