What is Mediation?
Mediation is a highly effective process for resolving conflict and settling disputes. This is true for disputes in the workplace, community, and family. It is a voluntary process whereby a neutral third party facilitates a meeting between the parties.
Mediation provides a safe and confidential environment for discussing differing interests and exploring possible solutions. When parties come together to negotiate in good faith; they can usually find the best possible resolution for their dispute.
Mediation is a viable alternative to protracted, expensive and destructive litigation and is especially beneficial in situations where emotions are running high, and communication has broken down.
Don’t let conflict rob you of time, money, and peace of mind.
Call today and start restoring peace in your life.
The Benefits of Mediation
Mediation has many benefits, including:
Solutions can be creative in ways that are not possible in litigation.
Solutions are often mutually satisfactory – not simply a compromise.
Mediation is not a win/lose situation, but rather it’s about cooperation, accommodation, and mutual respect.
Parties are empowered to create their own resolution rather than have one imposed on them by a judge or arbitrator.
Parties who have reached their own agreement in mediation are generally more likely to follow through and comply with its terms than those whose resolution has been imposed by a judge or arbitrator.
Mediation can provide a safe opportunity for developing negotiating skills, and exercising personal power.
Divorce Mediation
If you’ve decided to move forward with your divorce, please consider the following:
Mediation Versus Courtroom Battle
More and more, people including family court judges and divorce attorneys are recommending mediation to divorcing couples.
Rather than a courtroom battle with opposing attorneys, couples sit down with a mediator and create their own divorce agreement. They are encouraged to consult with other professionals along the way. .
Couples may decide to ask an accountant to review their finances and recommend an equitable division. Additionally, they may ask an attorney to review their final agreement – it’s up to the couple – they decide how to proceed.
Most of the time people facing divorce are hurt, afraid, and unsure how to proceed. The temptation may be to hire an attorney; thinking I’ll just let him/her handle it. I urge you to not act hastily in relinquishing your power over your situation and handing it over to the adversarial court system.
Few if any are ever pleased with the judge’s decisions. Most feel devastated that the process did not go as they expected and sadly they’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars and fueled considerable hostility and bitterness toward one another.
Even though you may be overcome with anger and fear, you can, with the help of an experienced mediator create your own divorce agreement. After all, who is better qualified to decide things like your parenting schedule, and how your assets and debts will be divided?
Moreover, as a result of your experience working out the terms of your agreement you will be much better equipped to co-parent your children successfully and resolve future disagreements in a constructive manner.
In mediation, couples can make it through their divorce with dignity and without destroying one another, their children, and their finances.
Is Conflict Inevitable?
YES! When people come together whether for business, employment, religious, or personal reasons we often discover that we have opposing interests, differing expectations, and diverse communication styles.
All of these factors often lead to conflict. Not surprisingly, the costs of unmanaged conflict jeopardize business, family, personal and professional success.
Children and Divorce
Approximately one million kids a year are affected by divorce.
What are the kids saying?
“Please make my parents stop fighting.” One child reportedly told his mother, “if I were dead then maybe you and dad would stop fighting over me.”
Kids need to feel safe in knowing that they are free to love and spend time with both parents. They should not be held hostage to their parent’s conflict.
Psychology Research on Children of Divorce
There are two very strong factors that influence children’s post-divorce adjustment, they are: (1) exposure to parental conflict and (2) quality of parenting. Research tells us that kids coming from high conflict families do not fare well. They are more likely to experience mental health problems.
What are Family Court Judges saying?
Many judges encourage mediation and sometimes require it in disputes that involve children.
“There, in that forty-foot-square courtroom, this couple would either fuse with their anger, resentment, and bitterness or follow a path leading to peace through wisdom, understanding, and eventually forgiveness. They were facing a fork in the road that would change their lives forever.” ~ Family Court Judge, Chicago
“Family court is ‘a terrible place’ for parents to use to resolve their custody and access issues.”
“The whole justice system, including the family court system, is adversarial and is based on a win-lose mentality. But in family court there’s no winning, there’s only different degrees of losing, and the biggest losers are the children.”
This adversarial approach is “designed to make war not peace” says Brownstone, and more often than not parents come out of the family court system “more angry with each other and more unhappy than they were when they started the court case.” ~ Family Court Judge, Toronto
Chief Justice Burger weighs in on litigation…
“Traditional litigation is a mistake that must be corrected… For some disputes, trials will be the only means, but for many claims trials by adversarial contest must in time go the way of the ancient trial by battle and blood. Our system is too costly, too painful, too destructive, too inefficient for really civilized people.” ~ Chief Justice Warren E. Burger, (Ret.) U.S. Supreme Court
